“I’m sorry, were you talking to me? It’s loud inside my head.”

I’m spending some time surfing the ‘net this morning, as the big boss man is out of the office and I’ve done what I’ve had to do this morning. So it’s all good.

Tween girl #1: So, like, apparently my brother is engaged.
Tween girl #2: Really? Since when?
Tween girl #1: I dunno, found out at breakfast this morning.
Tween girl #2: Didn’t he, like, just finish high school?
Tween girl #1: Yeah, but she’s, like, still 17 and she’s got a two year old so she’s way worse off than him.
Tween girl #2: Well, is it his kid?
Tween girl #1: Who knows? He’s not tellin’.
Tween girl #2: Probably is … what a man-ho slut wedder.
From OverheardInNewYork

Best. Label. Ever.

By the way, there is an extremely poignant post on Beauty and the Beltway from October 25 that I definitely recommend you to read.

“This was my choice, my answer, this was the only thing that would make the pain stop for me and for everyone that I had hurt …”

Read the rest here.

Today a woman decided to hang herself, and indeed was successful. Unfortunately for her, she hung herself outside, in view of a relatively busy street. As a result (and I’m sure you can guess what’s coming judging from the sheer stupidity of many people), the woman was mistaken for a Halloween decoration and hence not reported for a few hours after she’d, well, left this world. Ah … only in Delaware. Most exciting state in the Union, that!

Er, my sympathies go out to the woman’s family.

A very true quote appeared on Moo-Moo Mizzou yesterday. No offense is intended for my buddies down in Florida, of course - but you have to admit she makes a point.

You live on a fricking tropical peninsula that sticks way out into a body of warm, hurricane-nourishing water, and you “just didn’t think this would happen” there? Does anyone else think that there’s a statistically significant number of stupid people living in the extreme southeastern part of the United States?

In the meantime, my job hunt continues to progress, albeit rather slowly as I have not yet been bothered to attempt the many cover letters that are necessary (they’re a bitch, aren’t they?). I’ve narrowed down potential locations to the following: New York City, New Jersey, Connecticut, Boston … and Los Angeles. The latter is rather a new development, but I’ve found a few jobs that sound appealing out there, plus it’d be an awesome experience to live on the West Coast for a year or two. I know my mother would flip a shit if that happened, though; she seems to be going more and more insane with each passing day. Could it be ‘the change’? I’m not going to ask.

And while Chicago is not on my list - I don’t think I could handle living in a self-proclaimed “Windy City,” not after four years at St Andrews - those White Sox are makin’ me proud. Woot! Yes, I’m allowed to root for them, distantly; my dad is originally from the Chicago suburbs. Though, it’s funny how in no sport am I a Washington/Baltimore fan, with one exception: DC United. And, let’s be honest, I don’t really pay attention to American soccer, but I’ve been to a couple of their games and they were a good laugh, so there you go.

Word on the street was that my friend James earned 80 pounds an hour last summer doing speechwriting (actually, he was planning to start his own speechwriting company after graduation - I wonder how that’s going?). On a similar note, the following article makes me understand that I am definitely on the wrong career path.

NEW YORK - At $25,000 per minute, advice from Donald Trump doesn’t come cheap. That didn’t stop thousands of fans from flocking to a Sunday lecture by the real estate mogul, who received $1.5 million for the hour-long speech.

The star of “The Apprentice” urged listeners to be aggressive and remain suspicious of advisers. “When somebody challenges you, fight back,” Trump said, according to published reports. “Be brutal, be tough, Just go get them.”

Aspiring dealmakers should work with others while maintaining a competitive edge, he told the crowd at the Learning Annex event, which cost between $100 and $500 per ticket. “Get the best people and don’t trust them,” he said. “Work with them, but they have to have respect for you.”

Woo-ee. I often wrote speeches for people in my classes in high school, and they usually went down pretty well, but I certainly wasn’t paid for them! I did enjoy doing it, though. It’s fun to watch an audience’s reaction to your speech without actually having to deal with the stress of giving it yourself.

That being said, let’s be honest: for $25,000 a minute I’d do pretty much anything.

Oh, and the revolution is here.

Americans never cease to amuse.

Do we really need another reason to add to the list of why old people shouldn’t be allowed to drive?

ST. PETERSBURG, Florida (AP) - A 93-year-old driver apparently suffering from dementia fatally struck a pedestrian and drove for three miles with the man’s body through his windshield, police said.

Ralph Parker was stopped after he drove through a tollbooth on the Sunshine Skyway, Traffic Homicide Investigator Michael Jockers said. The toll taker called police, he said. Parker was not likely to face charges because he did not appear to know what happened or where he was, said Bruce Bartlett, chief assistant in the Pinellas-Pasco County State Attorney’s Office.

“He may have somewhere in his mind have realized it was a crash, but immediately forgot about it,” Jockers said. The victim’s leg was severed in the Wednesday night crash, police said. The man, whose name was not released, was 52.

Parker had renewed his license in 2003. “That was the one thing he had, to get in his car and just drive for the sheer enjoyment of driving,” Jockers said. Parker lived alone after his wife died in 1998, authorities said.