I don’t even try to hide my obsession with Elvis, but it’s never gone so far as to result in the theft of 500,000 GBP. Instead, I just scour eBay for Elvis memorabilia and dream … one day … *sighs*

Ha. I’m only half-kidding.

Met up with Christina last night for a quiet drink at, you guessed it, Outback. I’ve been neglecting her lately, blowing her off because of my ever-increasing need for sleep - I still think there’s something wrong with me in that respect - so it was good to catch up. She’ll be heading off to China pretty soon. Lucky girl. I need a vacation.

I gave my first real-workplace presentation this morning on the REACH initiative that is moving its way slowly through the EU (it’s a chemical regulation thing that really is just as exciting as that sounds … hmmm … it’s the international bit of it that peaks my curiosity, of course). Stressful, but I survived, and now they’re having me write a report that will ultimately be seen by the head honcho, big boss man of the Chamber headquarters. Blimey. Doing events planning was fun, of course, but this actually feels like real work, a real assignment. I love it!

Wait. How come I never got this excited when I had an ‘assignment’ in school?

Well, probably because they weren’t paying me.

I’m obviously losing my mind. Thank goodness I’m only here at work for another half hour.

Per Christina’s recommendation, on Saturday night a group of us bundled up and drove out to Bumfuck, Maryland (how I wish that were its real name!), outside of Poolesville, in an effort to attend that which has been rated by AOL City Guide as the fourth best Halloween attraction in the country: Markoff’s Haunted Forest. And it was awesome! Granted, initially it was a bit slow and made us all feel old - there were loads of high school kids, and the wait was considerable - but the walk through the forest made everything totally worth it. It was set-up to feature scenes from various horror films, and may I just say that by far the best one was that of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, when we were actually chased by chainsaw-weilding Leatherfaces - freaky and intense, and got the blood flowin’. It was highly enjoyable, and I know Dom, Gen, and Chris were amused by mine and Greg’s reactions, because of course we were placed at the very front of the group and therefore received the vast majority of the scares. Between Greg’s excessive freaked-out cursing and my high-pitched shrieks, I’m sure we scared the actors just as they scared us. Too funny.

We got a bit lost on the way back to VA and ended up driving through the forest on a dark, one-laned road that didn’t seem to go anywhere (and indeed, some street signs appeared where there were no streets, very “Twilight Zone”-esque). Ultimately, though, we got out of there and found I-495, though we did manage to intrigue ourselves with stories of homicidal maniacs posing as hitchhikers en route … as you do. But all was well and fine in the end, and I found it quite an amusing way to spend a Saturday night.

On a Wednesday flight to Tampa, a man awoke from a nap and punched out an airplane window. Yeah, that’s pretty much it, and now he could get up to twenty years in prison for it.

I’ll admit that I’ve never punched anybody upon waking up (contrary to popular belief, as most people know that I am not one who deals with waking up very well), but I have had my fair share of heaving things across the room, including my retainer (which I no longer wear - bad Ingy, I know) and my mobile phone (which survived the incident only to be dropped into a toilet some weeks later, an event that I wish to forget and one upon which I will definitely not elaborate). Anyway, I just thought that story was funny. I could blame a lot of things on “psychotic episodes,” personally - ‘fo shizzle.

I obviously have very little to do at work today.

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes
Read the English meanings, and then say the ‘Chinese’ out loud.

That’s not right - Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao

Stupid man - Dum Fuk

Small horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped in to a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat

It’s very dark in here - Wao So Dim

I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching

This is a tow away zone - No Pah King

Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo

He’s cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive - Yu Stin Ki Pu

Great - Fa Kin Su Pah

There was yet another bomb threat today, this time at the building right across from my office. Fabulous! My ciggie break was therefore very entertaining, watching the (surprisingly fit) DC fire department hang out with four of their trucks - a bit excessive, really, but whatever. I’ve always been drawn to flashing lights so that didn’t bother me.

There was no bomb, of course. False alarm as usual.

Last week there was a bomb threat at the Washington Monument which stopped traffic for hours, probably because they closed two of the busiest roads out of the city. That, too, ended up being nothing.

And I forgot to mention that people here have been - seriously - warning me about not standing at any window for too long. Apparently there are secret service agents everywhere, all prepared with sniper rifles, ready and willing to shoot any ’suspicious person’ who looks like they’re scouting the area.

… though I don’t know how they’d tell the difference between a terrorist and a tourist, if that’s all they’re looking for.

Unnerving, to say the least. One can’t help but love working in a capital city!