Meg and I had a fight last night. No, fight is not the right word for it, ‘cos we don’t do that. Fight, I mean. We bicker, we squabble, we even argue occasionally, but we don’t fight. In the nearly four years since we regained contact with each other, there has only been one occasion in which we had anything resembling a fight, but really, I just stopped talking to her for three weeks, and for a stupid reason. She left an insulting comment on my LiveJournal, and I didn’t realize it was funny at the time, that it was based on her particularly inane sense of humor. And anyway, we hadn’t actually met up by this stage, but were only in contact through the ‘net, so it doesn’t really count.

I digress. The grounds for this ‘fight,’ as it were, evolved from an incident involving a paper towel. Decency prohibits me from elaborating further, but let’s just say that I didn’t think what I did was that bad, though I can definitely see why other people would find it exceedingly insulting and uncouth. Anyway, this led Meg to say to me, “You take all the satisfaction out of being upset with you.” To explain: I internalize my problems and tend to beat myself up about them. I still maintain that it’s for the greater good, though. By targeting my problem areas, I am then able to draft means of approaching and, hopefully, overcoming my faults. I’ve always done this, especially now. Really, who’s going to call me out on my mistakes now that I’m living on my own? I don’t take criticism very well from anyone but myself, as you well know if you know me in real life. It’s just what I do.

All I wanted to do was roll over and say “piss off and let me sleep,” but the nature of relationships, I’ve found, is based upon discussion and compromise. I’m still learning, you see, as this is my first long-term relationship after years of embracing singledom. That was a period that required self-reflection, I can see now. I always maintained that people in relationships had ’settled’ for someone and had therefore rid themselves of any potential opportunity for something better. Yes, that was my mentality! I like to think I’ve grown up, matured, a bit, now that I’ve embraced the sometimes-frightening concept of commitment. That is not to say that I no longer miss being single; I do, sometimes, in certain situations. Not often, though.

But never mind that. Meg and I seem to have sorted it out for now. Now my only concern is the fact that I’m practically dying of exhaustion at work today. Late-night discussions don’t mesh well with me, not when I have to get up at six-thirty in the morning.

Plus, it’s too gorgeous outside to be completely focused on my duties. It’s the perfect day for a picnic and an impromptu game of softball. Unfortunately, this is not to be, and I’ll just have to deal with it for the next hour or so until lunch, when I can get my sun fix.