Today is the day that I’ve quit smoking. To be honest, I didn’t feel the need for one on the commute this morning - not having a cigarette in my hand means I can behave more like a New Jersey driver (read: a drag racer), which is altogether very exciting. The first two hours here at work weren’t bad, either, as we were engrossed in a long meeting about the Firm’s goals and new developments. Of course, now we have entered the lull that is the hour and a half before lunch, which normally is a sign for me to take my ‘air’ break … but not today.

I bought a pack of Nicorette gum a few weeks ago in preparation for this, which cost me roughly the same as a week’s supply of cigarettes. I figure in the long run, that’s a small price to pay. The problem is, while the initial chews are satisfying, with a slightly minty (though slightly ashy) flavour, after about five minutes I feel as though someone has taken a razor to the back of my esophagus. The nicotine craving gone, the need for cigarette nonexistent, but with a burning throat, what does it matter? It doesn’t so much hurt as just feel extremely uncomfortable, kind of like when you’re about to throw up, and you know you’re going to throw up, but the moment hasn’t arrived yet. That’s not the nicest analogy, I’ll admit, but that’s how it feels.

But then … no pain, no gain. I am pretty impressed by the fact that just chewing this stuff makes me forget about cigarettes for awhile. Maybe that’s the key: burn the back of peoples’ throats, and they won’t want to smoke. You clever people.

One minor setback is the fact that I left my security pass to get in through the Firm’s special entrance in the pocket of my other suit, so to get in the building, I have to pass the smoking area. And this building seems to breed smokers, so there’s always someone out there. Subconsciously I think I must be testing - or punishing - myself. Why else would I forget the pass on the first day of not smoking, and never before?

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of bad habits and the subconscious, apparently I was thinking right when I had a cup of coffee every day at St Andrews. Based on the nightly social life that existed in that wee town, it’s a wonder my liver hasn’t simply given up on me yet. But perhaps there’s a reason my internal organ is still intact: researchers now believe that a single cup of coffee a day reduces the risk of alcohol-induced cirrhosis of the liver by up to 22 percent. Capital!

Should I pass the Series 66 exam by the 21st, I’m to jet off to the exotic land of Texas in July for a week-long (read: 52-hour) national training course for new financial advisors. Each day commences at 7:30AM - kill me - and incorporates classes on building one’s business, prospecting for and acquiring clients, making cold calls, networking, and so forth. We are required to bring the following to the event:

• a business plan [including, but not limited to, personal goals, the type of practice desired, types of clients involved and target markets, the differences between you and the competition, who and what will help build your business, prospecting strategies and activities, and sales goals]
• a prospecting list [the names and phone numbers of at least 150 people, either ones you already know and with whom you are in contact, or those who you simply found in a phone book or from 'buying' a list - I don't know where I'd go about doing that, but never mind - because we'll be making calls over the course of the week and are expected to set up numerous appointments]

I don’t like the idea of going to Texas in the middle of summer anyway, especially since formal business attire is required. Gah. In the off chance that I fail the exam and miss the RSVP date, there is another training session in August, which could be more tolerable … but it’s still not that great. I should have found this job in October or November; going to Texas in February would have been quite lovely, thank you very much.

But then … it’s all-expenses paid, and I guess it’ll be nice to get it over with and finally be a certified FA. Then I can start doing something more interesting than studying. And trust me, it wouldn’t take much.

I’m still rather intimidated by this, though.

I miss designing web sites. Back in the summer of 1996, I found a book on HTML in the discount bin at my local bookstore and took it upon myself to learn the ins and outs of the art of web design. My first site, Pure Fun (can you tell I started this one at thirteen?), was a mess of everything from wallpapers to icons to random commentary to advice columns. Let’s face it: it was ugly and amateurish. Luckily I moved on quickly, learning some Java and CGI along the way, and came up with a prototype for what would be one of my biggest web accomplishments. HoMM3 Unleashed, dedicated to the 1999 3DO PC game Heroes of Might and Magic III: The Restoration of Erathia, was a side hobby of mine that I started at the beginning of my junior year of high school. I took it upon myself to outclass and outperform the already established web sites dedicated to the game, and found myself rapidly amassing an international fan base. Once all the kinks had been worked out, the 100+ page site received multiple awards, including one from the game company itself, and was even featured in the now-defunct PC Games magazine, which, in its heyday, rivalled ubermag PC Gamer. Ultimately, though, with over three million visitors, and needing to update the site multiple times daily, it proved too time-consuming for a high school student to handle, and I handed it over to one of the most frequent visitors, who merged with a fellow gamer to create the Might and Magic haven known as Celestial Heavens.

My other site, developed from my love for European pop music, was a fan site dedicated to Swedish pop sensations the A*Teens, formerly Abba*Teens. In the summer of 1999, my sister and I traveled to Sweden to visit relatives, and I was introduced to the Abba tribute band, whose singles “Mamma Mia,” “Gimme Gimme Gimme,” and “Super Trouper” were catchy and upbeat. I figured there would be a small market for such music, as I really enjoyed it. My site, Somewhere in the Crowd, quickly grew to be one of the most popular A*Teens sites on the web, so much so that even the maintainers of the official site noticed and would periodically send me autographed CDs and pictures to use as prizes in site contests. Once again, though, updating became a nuisance, and I dropped it in senior year due to a load of AP courses and tae kwon do training. The A*Teens have since split to allow its members to pursue individual projects - both Dhani Lennevald and Marie Serneholt (who was voted the sexiest woman in Sweden a year or so ago - quite a change from when A*Teens first began in 1998!) have released albums in Sweden since then - but on occasion I do listen to their songs and remember the days when they were my main musical focus.

I never received any compensation for my sites, though in hindsight, HoMM3 Unleashed could have done well with some advertising. I was never in it for the money, however. I made sites because I enjoyed a) the product I was marketing, and b) creating the sites themselves. And I miss it! I miss the enjoyment of putting together a professional-looking site just from typing a bit of text into Notepad, I miss scouring the ‘net for means of attracting visitors, and most of all I miss creating a product that was both useful and enjoyable for people I might never meet, from all around the globe.

I’d like to get back into web design. This would entail, however, re-teaching myself the tricks of HTML as well as learning the languages and technologies that have emerged since my departure from the web scene, including DHTML, Flash, RSS feeds, and so forth. That, and I require a good idea for a site. Obviously this is a long way off, but it’s fun to think about.

I was a sloth this weekend, and it was amazing. Just what I needed. Apart from meeting J on Friday to see Ice Age 2: The Meltdown (which was entertaining, but not as good as the first one), M and I pretty much stayed in the house all weekend and played video games, watched videos, read books, and cooked. Saturday and Sunday were lazy and perfect. Monday came too soon - no surprise there.

But because I was a hermit this weekend, I spent much less money than I would have if I’d been sociable and gone out. I did a big grocery shop, but that goes in line with my new budget, so that doesn’t count. Let’s think about this: before, I was spending, say, $4.50 a weekday on lunch and $10 on dinner practically ever night. Over a month, that’s a loss of almost … $390! Oh my god. I totally didn’t realise how much I was spending until I just did the math. Um, so yeah, obviously eating out is a no-go for me from now on. But that’s okay. Fast food doesn’t tie in with my new ‘healthier, happier me’ thing.

On another note, the rattle in my car has gotten worse. I should really get that checked out, but I keep forgetting or I just don’t have the time. I have the feeling that, one of these days, a major part of the engine or something will come crashing out on the highway and leave me stuck. Breaking down is a major fear of mine, and always has been, though I’ve never actually experienced it. Hmm.

I’m meant to take the Series 66 by this Friday - gah! I guess that’s do-able. I need to call up the center and book an appointment, stat.

Okay, so, I’ve never really been that great with money. Sure, I can stick some away and never touch it, but the money to which I do have access is fair game for me. I like buying myself toys, that’s all, and I tend to block out the fact that a five dollar gift to myself every day (to which I’m sure it rounds out) is an annual $1800 expense that’s just … gone, with nothing to show for it.

But now I’m supposed to be responsible, especially because I’ve started training to become a financial advisor, analyst, planner, whatever you want to call it - the terms are used interchangeably at the Firm, I’ve found. I can’t expect to get any clients if I can’t keep my own finances in order, now can I? So, yesterday, in a fit of passion, I scribbled down my typical monthly income, savings, and expenses … and nearly died.

Net Loss: -$190.66

What do you mean I’m spending more than I’m earning? Gah! (It must be noted, however, that because I put approximately $530 directly into my ING account each month, which is not to be touched, I count this as an ‘expense,’ or at least an outflow of cash. If I can’t touch it, it doesn’t exist. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.)

There were a number of things, though, that can be changed, and that will be changed. They are:

• cigarettes, $125 a month [This is in the process of being reduced, because, let's be honest, nearly a pack a day is just gross. I'm allowed to say that because I've been smoking for five years. That's right. I've already cut down considerably the past few days; it's taken me (with a little help from Meg) three days to finish one pack of ciggies. Not bad! Even if I allow myself two packs a week, that's a savings of over $75 a month.]
• alcohol, $120 a month [I probably go out drinking maybe twice a month or so, and on an average night I'll easily spend sixty bucks. Why? Six hours of drinking, maybe six or seven beers, a couple of shots ... it all adds up. And my problem is showing up at a bar with a wad of cash. From now on, I'll have a limit, and bring maybe $30 instead of $100 to the bar with me, and no ATM card. That way, I won't be tempted to spend more.]
• eating out, $300 a month [Ooh, this is the big one. For one thing, as mentioned above, you tend to forget that $5 here, $8 there adds up rather quickly. For another thing, it's detrimental to my waistline (yet another thing I've decided to work on). And lastly, I want to learn to cook. Resolution: more home cooking. The only problem with this one is that our flat's kitchen is often disgusting; often food is left out for multiple days to settle and solidify. Where cooking is concerned, it's a big turnoff. And I'd clean it, but it ain't mine, and it might make me vomit. Hmmm. We'll see what happens with this one.]

I figure, if I work on those three things, and stop buying random stuff for fun - like new issues of Cosmo - I can save roughly $400 or so per month. Not bad! I even passed on visiting Bally’s last night for their tour in favour of running on the treadmill in my apartment building. It’s not plush, but it serves the same purpose and doesn’t cost me $70 a month (that being said, if I get a raise or get myself in order, I might treat myself to a membership - I really miss the rowing and elliptical machines!).

Okay, enough dossing about. Back to the studies.