In honor of the ongoing tax season - and my procrastination with regard to filing my own taxes - I spent a few moments today perusing lists of humorous nuggets about the world’s weirdest tax write-offs.

I think one of the funniest, perhaps not as weird as the rest, was the one about a married couple who were in a meeting with their accountant. Quite innocently, the accountant asked, “What about the mortgage interest deduction for the condo in Utah?” Turns out the husband had a secret condo where he had set up his mistress. Talk about a whoops moment!

Or take the Manhattan man who was low on dough … and something else entirely.

“He had made some money being a sperm donor and wanted to know if he could take a depletion allowance,” the accountant recalled. “I told him he really needed to be an oil well or something like that.”

Check out some more odd write-offs at Third Age and AOL Money & Finance, and happy tax season, everyone.

I’ll admit that I took a little offense to my friend’s statement a couple of month’s ago. Meg and I had gone over to her apartment (as she had just moved in with her girlfriend of two years), and they had recently redecorated the place with some paint and new furniture. As we were admiring the apartment - because, really, it is very nice - she said, “Our house is like the place you go for cheese and wine … your place is the party house. You know, you go there to have a really good time, get wasted.” And I know it’s silly of me to take offense to that, but let’s be honest, I have always had very specific views about how my ‘adult’ apartment would look, and that’s just not the case right now. What can I say? Our current is overflowing with DVDs, Ikea furniture, guitars for Guitar Hero, and a couple of couches that are a little too hard to fall asleep on - a must for a sofa.

Because of this, Meg and I decided our first step would be to replace the rickety, broken coffee table that currently adorns our living room with a new solid one, so we headed on down to Bob’s Discount Furniture in South Brunswick after viewing some pretty appealing commercials about it on TV. And, in addition to getting a coffee table (that’s very, very nice), we also ended up with two end tables, an entertainment center, and a tall dining room table with six of the most comfortable chairs ever, all with a dark cherry wood finish. Go us. The next day, we rented a truck from Home Depot ($20 for 75 minutes - awesome) and brought the table and chairs home, and the rest of the furniture will be delivered on Friday. I just got the confirmation call from Bob’s, and they’re expecting to be there between, get this, 6:30 and 9:30 AM. I don’t know if I’m up for arranging furniture at 6:30 in the morning, but hey, at least it’ll be long finished before our poker game Friday evening.

Now the next step is to get some light-colored sofas, and our living room will be complete. Methinks I may have to wait a paycheck or two, however - or at least see how big my tax refund is expected to be. Either way, it’s a very exciting time for our apartment, and I can’t wait for people to see it once it’s complete.

So I’m guessing that whole “indigestion” diagnosis was incorrect.  It’s not supposed to last two days, is it?  I’m thinking it’s likely that I pulled one of my abdominal muscles, but regardless of anything, I’m definitely going to make an appearance at the doctor’s after work today.  Blah.  It’s a last resort … but I think it’s necessary.  No sense in doubling over with pain every few minutes.

I went to the gym for the first time in two weeks yesterday.  My usual gym closed their Edison office, so I transfered my membership to another that was close to work (as if I’m going to drive all the way to Sayreville during my lunch hour … right).  Man, though, was I feeling it last night!  It was good to go again, though, and I aimed to go every day this week, except …

… apparently now I’m on the same level as those middle-aged folks in those commercials you see primarily during daytime television and news programs.  I think I may have had my first bout with indigestion!  Ugh.  Last night I made an awesome Thai-style peanut and coconut chicken noodle stir-fry thingy, ate it fast, and went to bed straight afterwards - big mistake.  I woke up at five this morning with the most intense abdominal pain ever and couldn’t get back to sleep to save my life.  And it hurt all day today, until I finally had enough and said to myself, “I’m going to the doctor’s.”  (Note to audience: sometimes I’m a bit of a drama queen.  I had myself convinced that I had an ulcer or food poisoning or both.  Stupid internet.)  Of course, my doctor’s office doesn’t open until four, so I changed tactics and grabbed some Alka-Seltzer from Target instead, and now I feel fabulous!  Plus, that Alka-Selzter stuff was lemon-lime flavored, and it was amazingly refreshing.  Nice.

That being said, I will go to the gym tomorrow.  And I will check out the tae kwon do place I found online the other day.  I had a blast doing tae kwon do in high school, and while I’ve neglected it the past … um … seven years  (holy crap!), I think getting back into it would do wonders for my physical, emotional, and mental health.  There is no better stress-reliever than punching and kicking stuff, trust me.  Especially if you’re good at it.