Damon has an entertaining blog post on his site regarding to the nonsense of happy hour, and the variations he would offer, so I thought I’d share it with the rest of you alcoholics.

“Slightly Peeved and Perturbed Hour” - You get 60 minutes to drink your way into a memory lapse to forget the week’s stupidity. I got to go with Captain Morgan & Coke on this one.

“Emphatically Euphoric and Delighted Hour”- We’ll serve up that fru-fru garbage happy people all love. Pitchers of ‘fuzzy navels’ or ’sex-on-the-beach’ should shut ‘em up.

“Crazed and Out of Your Freakin’ Mind Hour”- Tequila shots aaaaaalll around. Buenas noches, mi amigo.

“Anxiety and Paranoia Hour”- I figure an Irish Coffee should fill the bill. I’m pretty sure the alcohol and the caffeine cancel each other right out. Just like the voices in your head. And if it doesn’t, you won’t worry about being seen leaving the bar with who’s left at 2 am.

“Lonely and Depressed Hour”- Just for fun, I’ve decided to 2 for 1 draft beer is painfully appropriate. You know, that tear in your beer thing. Oh, and each table will only have one chair, so you can sit alone in all your solitary pathetic glory.

“Totally Ticked Hour”- This could be scary. I’ll have to post a disclaimer (and an armed guard). With a bar full of angry workin’ stiffs and enraged alcoholics, I’m servin’, you guessed it, Jack Daniels and Grand Marnier. Just wind ‘em up and watch ‘em go.

Note : Dart league canceled during “Totally Ticked Hour.”

Read the full post here.