Before I get into the topic of this post, Meg is a born psychologist, and her latest monologue about Generation Y’s confusion with the theory of love proves this. Check it out for an interesting read, and let her know your thoughts on the matter. I found it to be pretty apt.

Also, check out this letter, addressed to famed radio personality and advice guru Dr. Laura Schlessinger and written by Jim, an East Coaster. Very tongue-in-cheek. Very funny.

Today’s Horoscope
There are more mysteries in your life than ever before, probably because you’re experiencing more new things than you ever have before. This is a welcome intrigue to you right now — your mind is sharp and looking for stimulation. Examine what people are showing you, and ask them tough questions that will help you better understand their motivations. A discovery awaits you, but the true joy will be in the process of uncovering it.

Let’s hope this ‘discovery’ that I’m to uncover is in no way related to that of the poor Pakistani inmate who recently suffered through an operation to remove a light bulb - amazingly intact - from his anus. The man claims it was the result of an attack by prison guards or his fellow inmates, as he just woke up and there it was. Talk about a rude awakening!

On a similar note - thought not as cringe-worthy, perhaps - doctors in Vietnam have removed 119 nails from the belly of a mentally ill woman who apparently ate them some months ago. The 2.8-inch to 3.2-inch bits of metal scratched the inner lining of her stomach, but she is otherwise expected to make a full recovery. Mmm … nails. *drools*

My calf muscles feel as though I’ve spent my few free hours sprinting around John F. Kennedy Boulevard, probably in an effort to avoid catcalls from sleazy construction workers. This makes no sense, though. As far as running is concerned, I’ve pretty much neglected the treadmill, running a couple of miles once a week, tops, and the last time I did it was Thursday. So why are my legs hurting now? I guess it’s a good kind of pain, but it also could be attributed to wearing heels every day. I mean, I did that at St Andrews, sure, ‘cos that was the style and I’m a sheep like that (even though it really boggled the mind, considering the entire town was paved with cobblestones), but until I started working the corporate world in March, I hadn’t really had the opportunity or the desire to wear heels since November. Meh.

I do need to get back into the exercise groove, though. In an ideal world, I’d get up at five in the morning to run a couple of miles and lift weights before taking a shower and heading to work, but we all know that ain’t gonna happen, being the night-owl that I am. And they tell you to avoid exercising three hours before going to bed, which leaves me with a small window right after I get home from work. That, of course, is precisely the time my body decides to shut down and refuses to respond to anything except the steady hum of the television.

Reading this article on CNN is somewhat of an inspiration. Obviously exercise aids in toning and losing weight (um, duh), but apparently it has other benefits. Working out in the morning, for instance, can let you have a better night’s sleep, something I desperately need as is proven by my semi-reliance on Tylenol PM late at night. Also, the sensations equated with exercising are apparently similar to those getting their nicotine fix. I’m not out of the smokers’ loop yet, so this is particularly interesting to me. Women smokers who exercise are twice as likely to quit, says a recent study. And, finally, working out increases memory, awareness, creativity, and reaction time. What more do I need, now that I’m in the thick of exams?

And the clincher: exercise, and you have better sex. ‘Nuff said.

Oh, FEMA, FEMA, FEMA … you’re like the Cleveland Spiders of the government. [Writer's note: this baseball team finished the 1899 season with a record of 20-134, arguably the worst record ever for a professional team. Just a little baseball trivia for you there ... ooh, the random knowledge I keep in my head!] A federal audit has found potentially $1 billion in fraud due to the post-Katrina handout of $1000 cards to hurricane victims, largely due in part to people providing inaccurate, misleading, or incomplete information to the agency, sometimes multiple times. Where did all the money go? So far, all signs point to divorce lawyers, sex change operations, strip clubs, champagne, Hawaiian hotel rooms, and even a vacation to the Dominican Republic. Well, hey, as long as the victims didn’t suffer too much …

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The Welsh have done it again. In an effort to create a ringtone that would repel young people, a firm has created what they say will be “bigger than the Crazy Frog” ringtone of a couple years ago. The trick? Only young people can hear it. Dubbed “Mosquitotone,” it is indetectable by anyone older than 25. Those poor school administrators. As if they didn’t have enough problems with neds.

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A Nebraska man held on charges of sexually assault of a child was convicted of the crime, but doesn’t have to go to jail. Why not? He’s too short, sayeth the judge, claiming that undoubtedly the man would be unable to survive in prison. Instead, the 5′1″ pervert was given ten years’ probation, and made to promise that he would throw out his collection of porn. Now there’s justice for you. God bless America!