I cannot for the life of me remember where I found this, so props to whomever you are!  I thought this would be a lighthearted weekend post for you all to enjoy, hopefully as much as I have.

Thoughts of an Average American … as Imagined by a Marketing Executive

“I prefer the product with the attractive salespeople.”

“I was heretofore unaware of the maximum safe duration for a chemically induced erection.”

“That recognizable athlete scores all those points because of his brand-name sports beverage, right?”

“This song reminds me of my youth. Therefore, I will buy.”

“I can only afford $74.99 on a new pair of old looking blue jeans; $75 is just too much.”

“I would have gone to an amateur poetry reading rather than the monster truck rally had the gentleman on the radio commercial not been yelling.”

“Wow. I had no idea smoking was so bad for you.”

“If I buy this face cream, I will be as beautiful as the actress endorsing it.”

“After hearing rap music on their commercial, I can now trust this giant white-owned corporation to fulfill all my consumer needs. It no longer bothers me that the CEO eliminated all employee benefits to build his own country club.”

“There is very likely buried treasure somewhere in the backyard of my suburban Chicago home. If only there were a way of detecting the presence of metal underground.”

“Yes, I have been injured recently. And, no, I hadn’t considered litigation until this trustworthy family man suggested it.”

“I can’t believe I voted for a politician so soft on crime. I will not make the same mistake this election. I am also far more likely to vote for the smiling candidate in the color photograph.”

“This electronics super store has so many things I need at such great prices that I might just kill myself.”

“With that many explosions, how could the movie not be good?”

“I will enjoy your inexpensive, highly potent alcohol responsibly.”

“This celebrity who appears to be in good physical shape must be an expert on health and nutrition.”

“When passing a car dealership with a catchy jingle, I will remember that they have fair prices and know that I am a busy man. When I finally have some free time, I will buy the first safe, reliable, and easily financed automobile I see.”

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From the early days of the ‘Net and its accompanying social media outlets, people have had an avid interest in status messages.  Let’s face it: people are nosy and want to know what others are doing.  This in turn led to the influx of blogging, which was a means of answering the “what are you doing” question in a much more wordy format.  In this day and age, time is much more of a luxury for most people, and Twitter has taken its position as the mid-way point between, say, a Facebook status message and a LiveJournal post about a wedding one just attended.

For those of you who are still unaware of what Twitter actually is, think of it as a micro-blogging tool by which you can write whatever you want, to be seen by your “followers,” in 140 characters or less.  For many people, this is merely a prettier way of saying, “Oh, man, I ate the most wicked meatball sub today at ABC Diner in Philly,” but for others, it has become one of the foremost networking and information-sharing outlets available today.

Because of the latter, companies are beginning to jump on the Twitter bandwagon as a means of marketing their products or services.  Each of these companies takes its own tailor-made approach to its Twitter efforts, which tends to utilize a mixture of four specific methods.

Broadcast company news and events.

This is the most “marketing-esque” of all the methods mentioned, plus the most transparent, so I’m mentioning it first.  You’ve seen the type: @mycompanyname posts one or two tweets per day with a press release headline, an upcoming seminar the company is hosting, a new service offering, etc.  For people already emotionally invested in your brand, this is reason enough to follow your company on Twitter.  For others, there is little incentive to follow if this is all that you do with your account.

Provide customer service/support.

By utilizing search.twitter.com, Twitter’s internal search engine, as well as sites like Twilert, which sends you daily digests of tweets written that day with your chosen keywords, companies can track everything being said about their products or services on Twitter.  Because of this, a number of companies have jumped into Twitter as a customer service outlet.  JetBlue and Comcast are great examples of how to do this appropriately.  Both Twitter accounts offer quick responses to customer inquiries without being too marketing-esque, and, as a result, have each acquired 6000-plus followers.  An randomly-chosen tweet from JetBlue is below, and I think it’s a great example of how to quickly and effortlessly appease one’s customers.

JetBlue @cyclelicious @Hops11 The cost for checking a bike is $50 domestic and $80 international, and must be in a proper case: http://is.gd/bdne

Promote new offers/discounts/sales.

Some companies rely heavily on tweets that advertise upcoming sales, online-only discounts, and new products.  The primary mission here is to earn money more rapidly than one would if he or she ignored this particular methods.  Dell has a number of Twitter accounts, including @DellOutlet, @DellHomeOffers, and @DellSmBizOffers that only include tweets about sales and offers, which is perfect for those potential customers who want to find good deals on new products.

Build a community around your brand.

One of the premier reasons for using social media in your marketing activities is to build a community around your company’s products and/or services.  In one of my previous posts, I emphasized some of the top things a company must consider while setting up its social media marketing efforts, a few of which are:

• It’s called “social” media for a reason.  Have a conversation.
• Remember what your parents told you about the importance of sharing.
• Scratch their backs, and they’ll scratch yours.
• Honesty is the best policy, and, no, they don’t all like you.
• Provide valuable, useful content that is going to attract a targeted market.

I elaborate more on each of those points and the others in Building the Social Media Marketing Foundation, but it’s important to note that they do apply in the case of Twitter as well.  Building a thriving, vocal community is the holy grail of social media marketing, and it’s probably the hardest goal to achieve.  Ensure your tweets are a healthy mixture of the aforementioned three points, with many, many conversations with your Twitter followers thrown in.  Remember: it’s not all about your company.  Be objective sometimes; mention a blog post that applies to your industry as a whole and perhaps doesn’t even mention you but which applies to your target audience, for example.  Answer questions asked by people who don’t follow you, and don’t insist that they follow you once you’ve given them that information.  Once you’ve mastered the art of projecting an image of honesty, caring, and usefulness with your tweets, your followers will come, and your company will be well on its way to a successful marketing effort with Twitter.

• 16 Examples of Huge Brands Using Twitter for Business
• Building the Social Media Marketing Foundation
• List of 10 People to Unfollow on Twitter

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that many of the executives I’ve met just don’t get the whole social media thing.  Their concerns range from fear of the unknown, to discomfort with potential and current customers being a little too candid, to hesitation with creating something whose ROI they can’t measure in the typical black and white manner.

I don’t know if this is a typical attitude for Generation-X’ers, but in the midst of a tumbling world economy and a transformation from old forms of advertising to new, social media is more important than ever.  And it might just be you who needs to prove that to your bosses.

Have specific goals in mind.

You have used integrated marketing campaigns in the past; what were you trying to achieve with those?  Do you want to simply increase web site traffic?  Do you want more conversions on your web site?  Do you want your name to show up in major online publications?  Figure out what you want to achieve, and plan accordingly.  Then show the boss your ideas.

Be one step ahead of your boss.

I was recently asked about the potential for a blog on our web site, which is based in Java and therefore is not compatible with standard installations of Wordpress, for example.  Instead, I had chatted with a colleague earlier to find out about open source, Java-based blogging platforms, and was quick to bring up Roller as an option for us.  By having an option already in your back pocket prior to speaking with your boss, you save your boss from hemming and hawing about how your company “wouldn’t know where to begin,” thus delaying things further.

Stress the low cost.

I’m not saying that social media is free.  One must consider the fact that social media marketing, if done right, can be extremely time consuming – and in this day and age, time is money.  But many bosses are more concerned with specific dollar amounts, which is where social media really shines.  As far as finance is concerned, if you aren’t spending large amounts of money, you’re doing a fine job.  And in this poor economy, not spending money is going to sound pretty darn good to your superiors.

Give real-life examples of how social media has worked for other companies.

You know the value of social media for business; otherwise this wouldn’t be an issue for you at all.  But you can’t very well expect to convince anyone of the many merits of using social media as a marketing tool if you have nothing to back it up.  If you’re in the food industry, cite Coca-Cola’s use of Mentos in YouTube videos to send its sales of Diet Coke skyrocketing.  If you’re in the Internet services industry, refer to HubSpot’s fast-paced growth over the last year thanks to its blogs, webcasts, and “Grader” toolset.  Dell has an entire island dedicated to its products on Second Life, and Starbucks has both Facebook and Twitter pages to connect with its community.  It is important that your boss sees success stories with regard to companies in your particular sector or industry to further bolster your arguments.

Prove it.

Especially if you work in a small company, there is no harm in doing some small-scale experiments to prove to your boss that social media marketing really can work.  If you don’t have a PR team or communications pro that is accustomed to doing so, take it upon yourself to respond to blog posts about your company.  Digg or Stumble articles that reflect your company favorably.  Start a Twitter account that allows you to deliver and intermix objective articles about your industry while slipping in an invitation to a company webcast here and there, for example.  Once you have something going, something solid, you’ll have a lot more pull when you finally talk to your boss.

For those of you who do use social media marketing in your company, and were the champions of such an act, how did you sell the idea to your boss?  Did you address his fears (consumers with not-so-flattering things to say about your company), or did you focus on his practical side (cutting costs)?

Special thanks to @RichBecker, @ChristySeason, and @candyhog for their feedback!

• Building the Social Media Marketing Foundation
• Should My Company Join the Social Media Revolution?
• Social Media and the Marketing Opportunity

I am expecting my new business cards to arrive by the end of this week.  I have a new title at work, and since I never got around to updating them with my last title change, I figure now is as good a time as any.  So my new title is there, along with my work phone, cell phone, email address, and company contact information, all plastered into the standard company business card template.

But for events, meetings, and introductions that are in no way related to my current company, I think it’s time that I had my own personal business card as well.  I’m talking about those instances where I run into friends from my past, where a potential consulting gig exists, where I want to pass my name and web site address out to people who might possibly be interested.

A recent blog post over at Ever-Real Modern Marketing inspired me with its display of seventy-two brilliant business card designs.  Now, I’m of the mindset that business cards should always be in the standard rectangle shape and in the standard size.  Many of the cards listed play by those rules, and I think the artists have done an amazing job working with colors, graphics, and typographies to make it their own.  I’m absolutely going to attempt the same.

In my experience, business cards that are shaped or sized differently from most tend to present more of a headache than anything.  I received one at an industry trade show I attended last year that, though novel in its approach, failed on all accounts.  One, it was too small, approximately the size of a fifty-cent piece.  Two, it was shaped like an octagon.  Three, it had light text on a very dark background, and four, the text was so small that every line looked cramped.

Oh yes, and I promptly lost it.  That’s what happens with small, oddly-shaped bits of stock paper.

The point is, I’m looking to create a business card for myself that is eye-catching, sensibly-shaped, and exudes a whole lot of me.  Because, let’s be honest, one’s business card is another means of advertising oneself as a product or a brand, and I need to be sure my card is as me as possible.  This is going to include some thought as to color schemes (reflecting, of course, the other self-promotional venues I use such as my web site and my Twitter page), typography (I tend to veer toward cleaner, sans-serif fonts, so not too many problems there), and any graphical elements I might think of.

And, no, despite my face being on pretty much every site of which I’m a member, I’m inclined not to put my photo on the card itself.  That just strikes me as very ‘real estate agent’ or ‘financial adviser,’ neither of which is my chosen vocation.  Personal opinion, of course, and no offense to those of you who aren’t either of those but do in fact have photos on your business cards.

Hmm. I think some Photoshop play is in order here.

• The 75 Hottest Business Card Designs You’ve Ever Seen
• I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Business Cards
• Awesome Business Card Designs of 2008